My Guide to a Life with Many Lives

Public reading pavilion (open public library) in Tallinn, Estonia.

A few years ago I came across a comic strip that presented a rather practical and optimistic view to those of us constantly ruminating on things like “time flies and we are all going to die”. The author suggested that we could live many lives within a single lifetime assuming two things:

1) that we could live an active life until our 80s or 90s

2) that it takes about 7 years to master anything

This comic was one of the many sources of courage and inspiration I used to change careers. I went from being a very good foreign language teacher, to then doing a decent job as a customer support rep, and for the past ten years I have been living a good life as a product manager.

But this philosophy of life is helpful for things other than work. I believe we are not just what we do, but everything we carry with ourselves, from our past lessons to our dreams about the future and our immediate need to satisfy a hunger spang. This approach to chunking existence in a handful of years at a time is useful for approaching life and all its aspects.

To give you an example, I grew up as an omnivore. I later became a vegetarian. During those 4.5 years I learned a lot about the food industry, about nutrition and, most of all, about my body. It was the learnings about my body that got me quitting vegetarianism. I later explored other eating practices, such as keto, intermittent fasting and I am now living a life close to what some would call a whole food eater life (though not entirely). In this life I am combining different lessons learned in my lives as a vegetarian, as an intermittent fasting practitioner and as an omnivore. So far I am satisfied, but I may explore further eating lives later. Who knows?

Another example of multiple lives lived has been in sports. Inspired by my sister I started running when I was about 17. I ran almost every day and I completed my first 10K at age 20. I ran many more short races in later years. But I quickly ended my runner’s life when I participated in a half marathon at the age of 28. I thought I had a long runner’s life ahead of me, but during this race I suffered an injury that was pretty common although I knew nothing about it. It would take me almost two years to learn through therapy and education about the power and importance of cross-training, stretching and resting. This path took me to a life of weight lifting, mixed with yoga and now I am living a life of minimal and mixed training for a happy body (ironically I am writing this as I struggle with lumbago for the past few days). But who knows, maybe I will have a life as a judo fighter next.

So, do you see what the author of that comic meant? Of course my way of living did not come about by just reading that one comic strip. It has come about by precisely doing just what it says: exploring multiple things. Every exploration, every life has taught me something that I have brought with me to the next life. Whether to stop doing or being something, or by incorporating something new to who I am and what I do. Similarly to how those who believe in reincarnation, I have evolved and sometimes regressed with every new life lived.

I have gone from believing in an end goal, a status, a title, a position in life to completely dropping the idea of an end game. You see? By exploring life I learn to live. If I hadn’t had end goals I would not have learned that the process of pursuing them was more pleasant than actually completing them. If I had not quit having goals and I hadn’t tried to “live fast, die young, bad girls do it well” I wouldn’t have learned that so much pleasure can actually become boring or even painful (glad it didn’t get me as far as dying yet). In short, my philosophy of life has been to explore different philosophies of life.

That said, I do have a tendency to explore similar philosophies that remain within boundaries, biases or values that I am consciously or unconsciously shaped by. For example, I do not intend to explore a philosophy of life that relies on the suffering of others for my own success, happiness or pleasure. I just can’t make myself do that. Neither do I intend to go any time soon into rock climbing, since there hasn’t been success in my intentional efforts to overcome my fear of heights. But whenever those limitations allow me to, I keep on trying new things, new approaches, new explorations. From minimalism, through stoicism, and with many stopovers at simpler approaches such as “just do it” a la Shia LaBeouf.

if I had to give you a guide in the form of a list, this would be it:

1. Drop the labels: you are not static, i.e. you are not a job title, nor the current status of your body, nor your cultural or social background. You are a constant and dynamic evolution and regression of the things you choose to explore, to keep and to drop
2. Face your social fears: know that your rejection of what are social generally accepted standards will cause some friction, but you will get over it once you get to taste the freedom and satisfaction that comes with exploring options
3. Lay down your options: don’t drop anything too quickly nor try to explore everything at once. Enjoy the fact that, if you have the luck of growing in a social and economical context with options, you have many to explore before you embark on any, but don’t wait for the perfect moment to embark on it, either. There isn’t such a moment.
4. Follow your own pace: yes, the comic says it takes 7 years to master anything, but you could be done with something in 2 months or stay two decades at it because you are going deeper and deeper and you are enjoying it. Then do it.
5. Enjoy the moment: whether that is a second, a day, a year or a decade, don’t count the time. Count the life within it.
6. Stay curious and be the best you that you can be. You own the definition of what that means.

Finally, these are a few of the talks, authors, and pieces that have shaped me tremendously, if you are looking for inspiration yourself:

Videos:

• Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED
• Stefan Sagmeister: The power of time off
• Philip Zimbardo: The psychology of time
• TEDxPortsmouth — Dr. Alan Watkins — Being Brilliant Every Single Day (Part 1)

Books

• The Art of Learning
• A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy
• Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
• The Headspace Guide to Meditation & Mindfulness
• 4D Leadership: Competitive Advantage Through Vertical Leadership Development
• How Much is Enough?: The Love of Money, and the Case for the Good Life

Podcasts:

• The Minimalists
• Life Kit
• WorkLife with Adam Grant

Happy Friday,
Maria 🌺

Originally published at https://marialasprilla.wordpress.com on February 25, 2022.